here's what im trying to say. a couple weeks ago, i went up to the college to deliver the paperwork of a girl whos student teaching at my school. her supervisor is the graduate chair and i saw some info. on grad school in her box outside her office. i took a look at it and there was an application for a portfolio presentation, which apparently is a requirement before graduation. it pretty muched freaked me out, not because i cant do it or because i dont want to do it, but because i know it will take me a while to get through it. in undergrad, my professors were always cool with time limits and stuff. in class presentations, i was never given a time limit. at the end of every semester we had to go through a "checkpoint" which included a presentation. no problem. i was comfortable with my mentor, who was on the panel to which i had to give the presentation. and i also was excused from the time constraints.
that being said, the professor who is in charge of the grad program is quite different than my undergrad mentor. she was one of the most intimidating professors for me to talk with and is known at times to go on "power trips." i never had any problems with her while in her class, but i know how she can be. part of this is just me worrying for nothing and overanalyzing, but i fear that she will tell me that if i want a time extension for my presentation that i will have to register with Student Disability Resource Center (SDRC). this is something that i am strongly opposed to. i guess when you think about it, its kind of ironic, since im in the field of special education and work with students with disabilities. however, i DO NOT view my stuttering as a disability. i am very capable of doing all the work of grad school, including oral presentations- i just need some extra time. so even the thought of going through SDRC and registering my stuttering as a disability doesnt sit well with me. maybe its just a pride thing. but right now where im at, i refuse to do it. now every since i saw that stuff in her box, im been overanalyzing this situation and re-thinking grad school.
my old professor, who was also my mentor, and happens to be like my second mom, was in her office a few days after i saw the application for the portfolio presentation. i shared my concerns with her about it. her first response was, "hey- why not work the system?" (she can say this because she has a son with a physical disability who will be a freshman next year and is considering going through sdrc so he can get a free laptop- haha) "because the system was always against," i told her. she completely understood my reservations. she said to just talk with sdrc and the grad chair and see what they think, that it might not even be necessary. she also suggested that maybe if i could just get a speech therapist to do an evaluation of my speech and write up my needed accommodations, maybe that would be enough.
well, i emailed sdrc and they said, yeah i should go through them. which is completely what i was expecting. i mean, thats what theyre there for. i mentioned the evaluation to jill and she offered to do it for me. im a little hesitant about it, but i dont have to decide quite yet. i just avoided talking to the grad chair- haha. i had lunch with my professor/mentor yesterday and we talked about it again. she made a good point- that as a program (special education), she would hope that they would be willing to work with me and help me get my masters. she also informed me that even though dr. l is the grad program chair, the decision would ultimately be a program decision. that is definitely reassuring to me because i had the chance to prove myself to the other professors and they know that i am intelligent and capable and a dang good teacher! ;) anyway, at lunch my mentor offered to talk to the chair for me, just to run it idea by her first and then once she got a feel for her response, i could talk to her. so thats where its at right now. and im still overanalyzing it- figures. haha
3/25
No comments:
Post a Comment